Christoph Reilly and his Cult Following
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Reilly's Research Materials Found
Stalkers, Groupies or a Cult in the Making?
I will let you decide.
It has recently been learned that Christoph Reilly has a number of stalkers, some preferring to call themselves groupies, in order to avoid potential legal ramifications. Some prefer to stalk within the confines of HubPages itself, but others have taken to tracking the author down, following him around, and photographing him in his sleep. Such matters need to be dealt with.
Christoph has been quoted as saying, "Of course I don't want you to stop. I don't call them stalkers. I call them sexy babes following me around!" This begs the question of whether these are actual stalkers, or if Christoph is planning to start some sort of cult.
This theory is further confirmed by another remark made by the elusive, and creative Reilly. "These guys today don't know what to do with a cult. All this talk about comets and spaceships, geez, what a waste of a good cult! Boy, If I had a cult, there would be a hot time in the old town tonight!"
Is Reilly really planning to start his own cult? He seems to have quite the following. Several remarks have been made by fellow Hubbers, stating there interests in either being a groupie or a stalker of Reilly's. Here is the evidence to prove it.
mistyhorizon2003 writes: "Ohhh, goody, can I be one of your stalkers too Chris?? I am already a stalker of GT, but that is only so I can offer porn guidance counselling LOL ;)"
She may think this is all in fun, but how far will this be taken? Only time will tell...
ajcor writes: "Can I be a virgin on vergin or a stalker as well or even both or maybe a groupie? it's never too late to teach an old dog new tricks or so they say?......did you say there were lessons or something?.....cheers"
And what will these 'tricks' be? What will the great leader teach us?
mistyhorizon2003 writes: "Where do I begin? Gwendy, Ajcor, Spryte (normally), Jewels, Trish, Anna Marie, Lifebydesign, Lita, Shalini, Dottie, Zsusy etc etc etc ........................"
She is listing names of stalker/groupie/potential cult members. I admit, my name is on the list. I fear that I am too far gone, but I write this in hopes of reaching out to others before it is too late.
Shalini Kagal writes: "Misty - you're soooo right - of course I'm stalking him :D....hmmmm....is that the HubPolice siren I hear????"
Even with fear of retribution, the stalking continues. What needs to be done to stop this?
Me Thinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much
Christoph claims that he does not want these groupies. Shunning his stalkers/groupies. Yet, they still follow. Is this a clever tactic to distract the powers that be? Is he an evil mastermind? I believe he may be. He cleverly encourages such attention, while at the same time, states that it is not his desire or intention to draw that type of affection.
He is quoted as saying; "I'm not. I like it when people read my stuff and comment and I enjoy talking with them. don't want to upset the apple cart is all. If Misty (or anyone) wants to say THEY are my groupie, that's all fine and good, but one can only speak for one's self."
But how far is he planning on going? I do feel that this is a cult in the making. This having been said, I am relieved to know that his cult plans do not involve the more extreme measures cults have been known to take, such as sacrificing cult members or mass suicide. The extent of the influence a cult like this would have on Hubpages is not known. Concern is spreading throughout the HubPages community. Further details will be posted as they become available.
Membership Drive
If asked (or drugged) will you join Christoph's Cult?
See results without votingImportant News Update
This is a follow-up report on the matter of cult leader, Christoph Reilly. As of September, 2011, it seems that Christoph has gone into hiding. Has he gone the way of reclusive writer J. D. Salinger? Or is he plotting something more nefarious?
As of this point, I cannot say for sure. Some have said that they have seen him lurking around, and others claim that they have not seen him in months. Who is telling the truth? I cannot say. I know that his devoted followers are devastated that their leader has seemingly abandoned them. It may be possible that he has taken all that was donated to him, stashed it in an account in the Cayman Islands, and has since fled the country.
If anyone has any information regarding the whereabouts of Christoph Reilly, or any of his closest followers; many of them have gone missing as well, please, feel free to leave a comment here. It is of utmost importance that we track him down. He is greatly missed here, and as I said, his followers long for his return.
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MU-- Christoph is a legend around here. His stuff is definitely worth a read, especially if you are new. He is a great writer, and I am a huge fan of his. Yes, that was me lurking outside his window. ;) As, I said, I am a huge fan...
Interesting hub. I'm new and don't know this hub star, Christoph, but I feel compelled to see what all this fuss is about now! Great job with the photoshopped picture of him in the window and you (well, I assume you) outside the window. MU
Beth--Well in that case...I hope the Hubpages elite forgive us all...
Yea, I think there is a resurgence...... :D
Beth--Sadly, many of us have been sucked in by Christoph's charms. He really is a charming man. It's hard not to be mesmerized by him. I wonder if a resurgence of the cult is underway? It wouldn't surprise me. Glad you got a laugh from this.
You should have sent me this about two weeks ago.... Help! I can't escape the cult!! He has me spellbound and mesmerized! Help!!! Seriously, this is hilarious. You have me splitting my gut laughing!
kaltopsyd-- I forgot how much fun all of this was. Thanks to the recent attention it has gotten, I have read through it all again, especially the comments. It really took on a life of it's own after a while. Glad you got a laugh out of it. I know I still laugh at it.
HHahahahahahaha. This is just toooo funny! You need a warrant to post something this hilarious. When I sawthe title I just HAD to read it. So I guess I'm part of Chris' cult and didn't even know it. That's a blasted shame. You have a great sense of humour and I especially like your quotes and your works cited. Tha just made it even the more hilarious. I can just imagine some non-Hubber coming along and deciding to Google Chris' cult. That poor soul.
Thanks for writin this and giving me a good laugh.
-K. Alto
AC-- You crack me up! Thank goodness they aren't all hanging out outside my house right now. I would feel obligated to feed them, or something, maybe sell tickets. LOL!
Anna,
Too funny! I totally believe that someone would stalk you. In fact, there are 654 of them following you at this very moment! Oh, make that 655 (sorry I had to mess up that cool thing with the numbers going in descending order as they went from the hundred's place to the ten's place and the one's place...;-) I can't wait to read more of your hubs.
~AC
Chris-- You were The Captain all along? I should have known!!! Glad you got out of Haiti when you did, though. And, yes, I do get a few page views on this Hub every now and again. Probably unsuspecting people doing research on cults...hopefully they don't take this too seriously!
ACSutliff-- I am happy you found it, too. You are the proof that I needed that this Hub still gets a little traffic every now and then. Sadly, the cult has disbanded. As for the picture...I still haven't figured out who followed me there...guess I have a stalker, too.
Anna,
I am so happy to have found this hub. Saddly, I can believe every word! Hubpages is a cult, you know. And CR has definitely created some kind of cult within a cult that will most likely take over the whole hp community one day. You know, like Nirvana or Mediterranean religious worship...
I laughed so hard at that picture of you outside Christoph's window. (Do give me directions, so I can sta... visit him too.)
As for what happened to the cult, they, er...dissipated to who knows where when I went into hiding in Haiti. I had to get out of the country as the authorities were closing in with federal charges against me...something about reverse polygamy. Seems the problem was I WASN'T married to any of my wives. Serves me right for locating the "camp" in Utah.
Anna, does anyone ever read this?
As for Captain, if you are referring to Bad Company (as opposed to The Captain - which is one of my alter ego's here) he is here under a different moniker, though I forget what it is. If you are referring to The Captain who sails the Caribbean searching for Chi Chi, he is lost at sea.
Chris-- I know. I recently read this again, and I couldn't help but giggle. It was too much fun.
cindy-- No clue. I have been away a long time, and am just glad that so many of you are still around!!
Hey christoph, where's that cult now? And whatever happened to the Captain?
Gawd! Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,HA! I was in the neighborhood and saw this. Man, we had fun that night...or I did anyway. I've got to make a copy of this so I can peruse it in my old age...like, ...tomorrow. I think I'll write a "Where Has My Cult Gone" type of hub and link to this. I think I laughed as hard at this tonight as I did way back then! Thank you, so much. This was really quite a gift. I'm feeling a little verclempt....I owe you still! Love
Yes, indeed, spryte!! Great to see you here!!! Yes, perfectly ok to keep you Chris Reilly Real Doll! He can fill in as leader when The Great Leader is away!
I'm in a cult? How cool!!! :)
Does this mean it's okay for me to keep my Chris Reilly Real Doll?
anjalichugh-- Sorry if you had been left out. His list of followers grows every day. The list of names was quoted from a comment left by someone else on another hub.
OMG how could have I missed out on this one. And..how could you leave me out of the list of stalkers? LOL
Thanks, Chris!!! Now I need a nap!!!
Your eyes are getting heavy...you're feeling sleepy...you see yourself in a beautiful place...it is full of love and peace...sleeeeeeep...sleeeeeep...
Shirley-- Yes, the baby pic is truely adorable. Who wouldn't want a baby that cute? he he... Thank you!!! Glad you enjoyed it!
What a wonderful investigative report, Anna Marie!! Wow, you really dug in and reported all the seedy details, exposing the underbelly of this evil and dangerous cult. Kudos! I hope someone has organized a de-briefing team to undo the brainwashing of the disciples.
That said, a cult following of Christoph is perfectly understandable - how can anyone resist him? That adorable baby picture probably seals the deal for the ladies in the community. Jeez, whose heart wouldn't melt at the sight of a baby with a Mr. Bean head? (face only a mother could love?)
Job well done! Thumbs up! Thanks for the enjoyable read.
Thank you for the confirmation on his baby photo!! Thank you for stopping by!! It might be a good thing that your mom never let you babysit him...
Oh how seriously funny. Someone needs to contact AP and get this news out there! Oh, and I know for a fact that that really is Reilly as a baby. It was the scariest sitting job of my life. (Yes, he even had groupies/stalkers, whatever you want to call them back then.)
And I'm just kidding. I did NOT babysit him. My mom wouldn't let me.
Hmmmm...LOL!!
Just an observation really (or is that reilly?).
Eric-- I said that it was possible that I was using Christoph as a means to take over HubPages for myself. As for him making comments...well...he has now.
Chris-- I have made no threats against you. Not overt threats. Others have, though.
sixtyorso-- I haven't been keeping up with that one, slacking off...seems you might be right, though...
Taking another hub into account it seems that we have a few "players" amongst the hubbers!
Hmmm. My arch nemesis taunts me and attempts to steal my...friends. My number one...friend now threatens me. Haiti here I come!
I was hoping you'd be my first disciple! - Since you've already said that you'll soon be escaping the slimy clutches of CR.
Who hasn't made a comment here for a while. My taunting must have broken him.
Great name, and great slogan, Eric!! I hope you attract a loyal following.
Hmmm.
All these unhappy people. Might have to start my own cult.
(A good, wholesome one of course ! )
How does "The Church of the Golden Boomerang" sound?
Slogan: "People just keep coming back! "
Gwendy-- Are you sure that it isn't I using him, for my own HubPages domination?? Maybe he is just a stepping stone to my own ambitions, and I already have a plan in place to do away with him, once my goals have been achieved. Maybe??
Gwendymom: I have already explained to you the "popsicle stick", which is a non-issue, since it never happened.
AMB, I just realized that Eric has a point. He may have used you for Hubpages domination and like me he will toss you aside like a used popsicle stick too, just don't tell him I said that.
Eric-- The fact finding session was painf..I mean, illuminating. I learned a lot. I learned that whips hurt, but that wounds heal.
Lazur-- I am sorry to cause such an issue. Please feel free to send me any dry cleaning bills. Glad you liked it!!
Damn.. I just pissed my pants laughing over this...:P
Great!:D
Sure we can get along :-) In fact I'm really sorry that you've become a pawn in CR's quest for Hubpages domination.
How did your fact finding late night session go with your leader?
Eric-- Can't we just get along??
sheenarobins-- Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it!!
Hahahaha. I had a good laugh at this Anna. :) wink
Gwendymom,
Yes, my services are expensive. But just tell him you changed your mind about being in the cult, and I'm sure that Mr. Reilly will give you all your valuables back. (or not).
If he doesn't, I'll put in a call to Spike, Lefty, and Wayne the Leg Breaker, and they'll go and have a chat with him.
Thanks, sixtyorso!!
From death threats to icon. How life imitates art! What has Rocking Joe got to say now!
Great Hub Anna Marie
Night, gwendy!!! I will be on the lookout for catapults, martinis, and other instruments of disaster.
Ok you guys, no martinis tonight. I have to get to bed, But I will be back tomorrow armed with martinis and maybe other goods as well. Night all, sweet dreams.
Eric is there a charge for these services? I have given CR all my belongings as he told me to do, you know for the good of the cul...group and all.
Good on you Gwendymom.
I'll help you if you need to be de-programmed from Reilly's insidious mind control methods, and I also have a friend who rents out trebuchets, siege catapults and other cult compound storming devices if you want to take your plans up a notch or two.
Gwendymom: How can you think that I would discard you like a "used popsickle stick?" Please see in the text above where it says "Evil Mastermind." Why, you are absolutely one of my best disciple...oh...friends! (Careful...I think these posts are being read by outside persons.) Of course not. Do come home..uh...round..more often. I miss you!
Don't tell Cris, she's a rat. She just ratted me out on CR's hub, told him I had posted a death threat.
Are you saying you have access to his email, Cris??
Good thing you're not privy to his e-mail! Otherwise, a cult is too small a word! LOL
This was fun AMB :D
maybe
Do I sense a new threat to Christoph's life?
Anna marie, yes I do, and I would never have expected it from Christoph. I have been a loyal follo....I mean fan of his for a long time. I'm gonna spike his martini now, thinks he can discard with me and get away with it, we'll just see about that.
gwendymom-- Don't you hate when that happens?
Research Analyst-- I like to call them "potential cult members". LOL!!
Interesting and I see you get plenty of interested hub readers too!
hmm, discarded like a used popsicle stick huh? Not again. Damn it.
Glad all the whipping instruments are taken care of and accounted for.
Proud Mom-- You may be right.
Christoph-- Glad you got a kick out of that!!! And, it's really gross that you pick your nose when no one else is around. You never know who is watching you.
Anna. Ha! I just saw the pic of you outside my window! Fabulous!
absolutely Misty
Found the bull whip, but may borrow the cat O' nine tails to keep things interesting, after all, variety is the spice of life eh Ajcor??? :)
"Internet Defamation Blog" and "Threat Management" are currently on deck above. I think Christoph has added those google ads people to his cult.
did you find your bull whip misty? if not I will you send over my cat O' 9 tails for your delicate ministrations.....
I got different ones...I got;
Debt Collectors Hate Us: Free attorney case review & help to stop harrassing debt collectors.
Internet Defamation Blog
Manslaughter Charges
See, proof that debt collectors stalk us...
Here's the 2 Google Ads for this hub showing at the moment:
Teen Suicide: The WHY, by an everyday teen who wanted a way out. Read her story
AND:
Easy-To-Use GuidebooksThe essential skills you need when helping a mentally ill person
No comment needed !!
Eric-- Loved the taunt from Monty Python!! That would scare me...lol.
hmmm...spurs, bells...what??
Thanks, Mighty Mom!! We are looking for new members at this time. If you wish to join, all you have to do is send a sizeable charitable donation to The Great Leader, shave your head, and promise to obey only him.
misty-- I can't stop laughing...this seems to have taken on a mind of it's own.
This just gets funnier by the minute :) Anyway, just off to indulge Chris's "flagellation" requirements, now where did I put that bull whip of mine again????
Very clever hub, Anna Marie! I notice there are an awful lot of male hubbers giving advice to the cult leader here. I thought the advantage of being a cult leader is that everyone does exactly what you say and you don't have to listen to anyone else. Christoph, you are a very diplomatic cult leader, indeed!
Quote Christoph:
"bells on".
I'm not sure she's that interested in your bells. Another typo of the Misty kind methinks!
TOS: Oh, I see. Rowan Atkinson.
Anna: I will be there with spurs...bells on.
@anna marie:
I'd suggest you arrive at 22:58. That should give you PLENTY of time alone together. They don't call him the "2 stroke terror" for nothing - whether he's wielding whips, dwarf beans, snake beans, or any type of cucurbit.
Quote Christoph: " I wouldn't go for thrice if I were you."
Oops! I think the above comment just may have been thrice. Taunt me again.
Something like "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries" would probably be appropriate.
(Sample taunt courtesy of Monty Python)
That should stymy him Anna. All the gropeys er groupies will be there already.
BT, Heh heh heh!
The Old Firm-- Bears? I don't understand. Isn't one HubCult enough?
B.T.-- Such things are bound to happen.
Oh, Great Leader-- I apologize for any misquotes, or misrepresentations. I will arrive at 2200. I hope this is acceptable to you.
You mean that Rowan Atkinson isn't your father?
Anna: Re: The time. That is a simple typographical error. I meant to write 2300 hundred hours but you may come at 1900 if you prefer. Our...meeting could take a long time.
And here is an example of how misguided and spurious your information gathering is: You have not quoted one thing from the hub about porn. The quote in question comes from elsewhere--I will not say where--but that just shows the gross inaccuracies perpetuated by this gross injustice.
TOF: I will not respond to such accusations as calling me a "dwarf bean," primarily because I don't know what the hell that is and frankly, my cult ...er..."bean" is bigger than yours.
You shouldn't have brought that bear in here, TOF. I hear he's been stalking Chris, too. You may lose your best friend to this cult!
Well, Misty, 1900hrs is 7pm so Christoph obviously wants to hog Anna Marie for himself for four hours. I'm sure the word you allude to is only an uncompleted flagellation and refers to nothing more flaccid. You wouldn't be implying that he's a prize pr*ck, surely?
I hope the lifesaver Eric's talking of has nothing to do with the one that CC's Tolden Goad periodically pops out of.
If any of you good looking broads want a nice grubby cult, complete with space travelling elective eels,shiny black polythene piping, brutality and denigration, leave your applications and a suitably large tithe with Tinkerbelle, the sexually challenged bear; I'm well into ripping out unnecessary body parts.
Christoph, I never realised that you where a dwarf bean.
Love and kisses.
Misty-- LOL!!! I think he was going to say punishment, but who knows? My concern is I really don't know what time to go to the barn. 1900 hours is 7pm, and not 11 o'clock.
Eric-- The porn LG is refering to is the hubs debating whether or not porn is bad for men, which is where some of the quotes are from. As for Christoph's grooming you for his successor, I have no way of knowing.
Oh, Great and Wise Leader-- I am sure you have ways of dealing with those that would rebuke you. Feel free to contact me if anything needs to be done about this matter. Also, please confirm the time I need to be at the barn...is it 1900 hours or 11 o'clock??
Twice you have denied me, Mr. Graudins. I wouldn't go for thrice if I were you. We have ways of making you regre...of having our feelings hurt.
@ Lady Guinevere.
If the reference to porn was directed to me, let me clarify this and make it PERFECTLY clear
The lifesaver I was talking about is one of those little round lollies that comes in a roll. I'm shocked and appalled that you would think anything else. It just shows the evel influence that this Mr. Reilly has over you.
And there's no truth in his statement that he's grooming me for anything. (Although I have seen him hanging around my house with a dog brush, trying to get the attention of my German Shepherd).
But if he annoys my dog too much, he probably won't be much use to you ladies. Finn has been trained by the German Police to go for anything that's hanging loose!
Absolutely hysterical Anna Marie, I laughed all the way through it. I am also concerned by Christoph's comment: "Be in the barn at 1900 hour....11.00 o'clock to recieve your punis....so that we may discuss the matter".
I fear he may have mispelled a certain word that you may be able to guess from reading the quote!!!
LMAO!! After all that...I don't really know what else to say.
In the immortal words of Goldentoad, "This is an outrage!" That you, dear follower....um...fellow Hubber would spread these false, malicious marginally semi-untruths! Why, oh why was I annoint...signed up on hubpages just to suffer your blasphem...cruelty. I am just a saviou....regular guy, trying to take over the worl...take my writing to a new heaven...level I said level! That picture that you claim is of me as a baby is clearly adorabl...not me. Where did you get it? From my mothe...some web site for adorabl...ugly babies? I also notice that many who have commented here have denie...said they know nothing of my churc...having a fan base. This is the equivilent of my crucifica...proves my innocence. I don't know what you mean regarding some imagined punishment I am expected to justly apply....excpected to dole out. The very thought is right on the mone...is totally absurd. I would like to lectur....speak to you personally. Be in the barn at 1900 hour....11.00 o'clock to recieve your punis....so that we may discuss the matter. Wear your orange jum....something comfortable and I'll bring the whip of enlighten...uh...bottle wine. Thank you.
(Seriously, I was laughing my ass off! Very, very funny and as mentioned by others, a new record for fast! It is a wonderful hello to me, and I am very touched. Thank you for writing it! I'm a little overwhelmed by the attention. Thank you!)
P.S. Don't believe Eric Graudins. He is being groomed as my successo....he is a very respected writer in this community.
This is unfair that CR gets all the good ones. I guess I'm going to be left with Sarah Palin look alikes.
LOL. You're good. I almost left the fold, but Christoph's personal magnetism is so great that he drew me back in. And, I admit! I just get obsessed and MUST stalk. It's a personal problem! :)
Oh no Pam,
Not you too !!!
I knew somehow that porn thing would come up. Another great hub!
Boy, is this a reason to go to Squidoo. The Church of Pyrotology.
Pam-- When The Great Leader recieves his report, remind him that I am still an avid follower. I expect retribution, though. No way around that.
C. C. Riter-- Of course I don't carry his baby picture in my wallet. All pictures of Christoph (aka The Great Leader) are now a part of the shrine.
Are you carrying his baby picture in your wallet too you new groupie? I love it. He sure looks familiar, could it be...no. Not him.
ROFL Anna!
Um, I'm just visiting and having a look around. I'm, of course, no spy for the CR cult. Oh no. I'm just an innocent hubber doing what normal hubbers do.
Okay, it's time for me to deliver my report to...I mean it's time for me to visit some other hubs. :)
Thanks, Elena!! I seek out only reliable information! LOL!
Hi Anna! What a laugh! And your sources are impeccable, too! That photo of Christoph as a child is priceless!
I know it is already too late for me.
Yes, he'll TELL them it's an amusement park.
But its purpose is MUCH more sinister.
I just hope that those he traps don't drink the kool aid or eat the marshmallows.
And as for the profits benefitting the group as a whole: If you believe that, I fear, dear Anna Marie, that YOU yourself have been caught in his evil web.
It's not to late to escape. Just put on a pair or red glass shoes, turn 3 times clockwise, click the heels together once and say "Begone spawn of satan".
If that doesn't work, try sucking a lifesaver.
Eric-- Thank you for this information. I am sure it will be helpful. In the cult, all ideas will be property of The Great Leader. This is acceptable. All profits will benefit the group as a whole. Popsicle sticks, however, will not be discarded. They are to be used as building materials for the compound. It will be located close to Christoph's amusement park.
The truth is that Chrisoph Reilly is a really evil character, and is just grooming and toying with the affections of these poor, desperate, lovelorn hubpages ladies.
He's playing the innocent, leading them on, and when the moment is right he'll strike.
When they least suspect it he'll get into their notebooks, steal their carefully crafted plans for their future hubs, make a million dollars from Adsense, and then discard them like used popsicle sticks.
Of course he'll deny it, the CAD !!
I am still compiling data and research into this startling problem. Thank you for reading!!
Anna - ROFL - that must have rolled off your keyboard like greased lightning!! Yes, even with the fear of retribution, it continues.... :D Thumbs up!
That was quick! I only just read all your comments, and hey presto, you've written a hub! Cyberspace is a wonderful thing!
Great and fast work Anna - if it is a cult in the making this could indeed be a serious problem -think orange - no one really wears orange these days do they? and bald heads and all arranging to meet one another on another planet - No what I think is that it is just a groupie thing of like minded people discussing like minded things.... So you take your finger off that RED Button .......it's all ok....cheers
btw nice historical pictures of the leader of this ahem.....
Fast work Anna, and I notice you've quoted relaible sources. Fun hub!
hawkdad73 Level 3 Commenter 6 months ago
Great Hub. Awesome read!